Life as an over weight child

11  years old  

So something very odd has happened to me over the last week and half. Something that I have never cared about before is taking over me....this has been since I have stopped all dairy in my diet. I have suddenly become one of those moms that actually reads labels and what is added into my food. I have never cared about not buying foods that have 5 million ingredients, some I can't pronounce, heck most I can't pronounce or even know what they are. But suddenly I care. It immediately goes back on the shelf. Suddenly I am putting things back that have too many items on the list. This seems to be especially important to me as I pack my 5 year olds lunch box for summer camp. I want him to eat healthier, I want him to have more vegetables and fruits. I want him to have less processed crap, less sugar, less junk. So that is what I am working on changing up in my house. I don't know why I have not ever cared about this, maybe because I didn't care enough about myself or what I put in my mouth, but now I am so much more aware, especially as a mom. I have always referred to people that care about this sort of thing as "granola moms" or kind of crunchy. You know...the ones that buy organic only, don't shave their pits and legs and always smell of patchouli and the Natural Foods stores? Well non of that is going on yet lol, but I do want to make healthier food choices for my household, not just for me. I guess I just want better for my son. I want him to grow up healthier, I want him to not have to worry about his weight, I want him to eat REAL food, not processed crap that is killing all of us. Every time I go to Splashtown, or the beach or the ponds, I see so many over weight kids busting out of their bathing suits. They have huge stomachs, big rolls, and are chowing down on chips, desserts and crapola. That was me as a kid, I WAS that kid. I ate junk, I was chubby even then. If I knew that I wouldn't offend the kids mothers, I would say something to them, but I don't because its not my business. But I just want to say "what are you doing? Your kid will grow up to be me! STOP THIS BEFORE ITS TOO
LATE".


Above is me at age 11. Yes I know I was ultra stylish with my 90210 outfit! LOL Already an awkward age, but being heavy was not something that I would wish upon anyone, especially a child. I was teased, called fat, kids would snicker and make noises as I walked by. I was never part of the cool crowd, never into sports, I felt like I didn't fit in. I had friends that didn't care about that sort of thing, but I would have given anything to be one of the popular beautiful girls in school and I was anything but. I would come home from school depressed and was teased on the bus. People would say "moooo" or "fatty" as I walked from the back of the bus to the front. I always tried to get a seat in the front, but sometimes I couldn't. I remember having such anxiety the whole way home dreading when I had to walk by those mean boys calling me fat. I would go home crying to my mom that kids made fun of me. It was awful.


So I went home and did what made me feel better. I ate junk. I filled up on soda, chips, pop tarts, candy, grilled cheese, a whole box of Mac and Cheese, Oodles of noodles, Spaghetti O's and anything else that made me feel better. This was all BEFORE dinner, then I would eat a full meal with my family. I rarely got exercise and preferred to sit and watch TV. My life revolved around eating. When I was sad, I ate. When it was a holiday, I ate. When we celebrated something, we all ate. I didn't eat one serving of food either, I had 2 or 3, maybe even 4! I ate til I was stuffed full and could barely move and my stomach hurt.


Fast forward to a twenty something over weight adult at 276 lbs in 1998. I decided to take control of my weight and lost 65 lbs, I went out with friends, I felt terrific, I met my spouse. Several kids later and lots of heart ache (the death of my child) and all the weight piled back on and then some. Before I decided to make changes last year I was at 294 but saw the highest as 296 at one point. I never saw the 300 mark, and I'm thankful for that.


Now more than ever I do not want my child to suffer the same torment and teasing in school. So far he seems to have his fathers slender build and I hope that remains, but I am going to do my best to also help him a long the way. He loves fruits, I make him eat veggies and I eat a lot of lean meats. He does however have a sweet tooth, so I'm going to struggle with that one. He starts Kindergarten in the fall and I am enrolling him in Soccer and the Cub Scouts. He also is interested in Karate. Anything to get him moving I am for. He would be a couch potato if I let him. My parents probably think I'm a big nag, but I'm always telling them not to let him watch to much TV, to not eat too much junk. I don't blame them for anything, obviously I was putting the food in my mouth, but I wish more people stepped in and stopped me.


So with that said, I am also working on getting myself moving. At the recommendations of friends, I downloaded the Couch to 5 K App on my phone and started last night. I thought I might die before I was done that 25 minutes, but I did it. Huffing and puffing and sweating buckets I collapsed on the bed. But you know what? Sweaty and all, I felt good and I realized how very out of shape I am. I may have lost 65 lbs, but I am not in shape at all! I have been carrying around all this weight since I was a young child.

 My 8th Birthday Party, already heavy (left)

                                               


So this journey is no longer about weight loss for me, this is now about getting healthy. I don't want to be skinny fat, I want to be lean, healthy and solid. I'm sure I will have lots of extra skin to deal with as you can not stretch it to almost 300 lbs for over 75% of your life and expect it to be stretch mark free and smooth. But I will deal with that when I get to it.


This morning I got on the scale after working out last night and it was funny, the scale was 2 lbs less and I looked in the mirror at my shrinking self and I actually felt good about what I saw. I have a long way to go, but I will get there. I will not give up!!

See this smile?? Its real!! ;-)

                                                             

Day 7 with no Dairy

Well I am happy to say I have survived almost a full week with no dairy. I honestly thought this was going to be a huge challenge for me, but it hasn't been! I also feel terrific on top of that!! I did make a trip up to Whole Foods and found some great dairy alternatives to use when I'm really craving something or want to make a pizza or grilled cheese. I was pleasantly surprised that these non dairy items are actually pretty darn good! But I am being careful not to over do the soy or other products, I am trying to stick to whole foods, from the ground, less artificial sweeteners, less crap basically. Just real food. I am also gearing up to force myself to get up at 5:15 and work out starting tomorrow. I have really really been inspired by this girl, Amanda Tyson  https://www.facebook.com/amandaleightyson . I became a fan of her page last week after somebody on my friends list had commented on it. She was teased as a child, which I can relate to, bullied in school and started a Be Kind campaign. She tried out for the Biggest Loser, didn't make the cut and decided to keep at it on her own. She posts daily about her working out routines and food that she eats, along with lots of pictures. Not until yesterday did I discover she lived in Maine, in Scarborough actually!! Go figure!! So now of course I am an even bigger fan. ;-)

I also am please to report that I dropped 6 lbs since Sunday just from eating whole foods, cutting out dairy and following MAB strictly. I feel more motivated then ever. Now if I can just get myself up to popping in that P90X video. Eeeks!!!

Here is a lovely lemon garlic quinoa salad I made today. So yummy!

Day 2 Dairy Free

Well I have survived another day without my beloved cheese. I never in a million years thought I could live without dairy! But I am doing it, I really am. The odd thing about this is, not only am I living without dairy products, I don't really even miss them....yet. Plus I am so on track right now with my eating and following MAB. More so then I have in months! I find as I continue on this journey, those little thing you stop noticing creep back in. For instance, recently when I would  make my sons lunch, say a grilled cheese, I would take a bite of it, just one though, before I would give it to him. He would ask me a for a dessert and I would have just one bite. All those  "Just ones" add up after awhile. Today I really noticed.  I was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and the thought crossed my mind to pop the knife in my mouth like I always do before putting it in the sink, but I didn't. All day I have noticed little things like that that I would do and not even think about it. I am much more aware of what I am doing and this was exactly the change up I needed to refocus and get back on track.

I have found that finding alternative products is a bit trickier following Mend-a-body. Since we follow an anti inflammatory low glycemic diet, finding products that are dairy free and not full of sugar and carbs is a bit of a challenge. I was so excited the other day when I purchased some products from the Tofutti line made up of tofu for cream cheese and sour cream. It tasted really really good and a pretty good substitute. I was really surprised! Then a friend pointed out that it had 2 grams of Trans fat in it! How I missed that when I read the label I don't know, but I was not pleased. I started searching on line and found tons of complaints from other consumers who were not happy that a supposed healthy food alternative had trans fat in it! Apparently Tofutti took notice and made another line that does not have the TF in it...but the local grocery stores still carry the regular line, not the TF free line. I called Whole Foods and they do carry the products I need, but what a pain to have to to go all the way to Portland just to be healthier.

Then I found quite a few ice cream alternatives made with Coconut Milk and Almond Milks. Woohooo, so excited, then I noticed the high fat and calories along with the boat loads of sugar added in! That will not help me lose weight. So I settled for a no sugar added version that was shockingly good. The fat content wasn't what I would have liked, but this will be as a special treat for when I really need it.

So this weekend it will be time to hit up Trader Joes and Whole Foods and hopefully not break the budget. I can't become house poor trying to lose weight no matter how good it is for me. I'm hoping to find lots of products without genetically manufactured additives and without loads of chemical replacements. Gosh when did I start caring about this sort of stuff?

Who said weight loss was easy and not complicated? I did it to myself, but sheesh, can I just eat a gallon of ice cream and some chips and slip into my tiny little bikini the following day? Everything must be so darn difficult, but I will get there someday!!

A Fresh start on my continued journey

So apparently I am a blogging slacker! I have not blogged since February, eeks. I need to refocus!


So here we are still on my weight loss journey, but today is different, I can feel it. I will explain why in a moment, let me first catch you up.


The scale has recently gone as low as 236, which is great since I started out at 294 and have gotten as high as 296. But not only have I been slacking in the blogging department, but I have also been slacking in motivation and temptation. Mend-a-body has really been life changing for me. This is the longest that I have been on a program in years and have stuck to it. Its easy to fall off sometimes, but its even easier to get back on. But you do need one thing...drive. My drive has been in comfort zone lately. I feel good, I feel like I look good, people compliment me all the time on my weight loss and I can't help but smile and feel confident. I am so much happier with my self....yet I still have more to go and the scale has not really budged in 2 months. The thing with MAB is even if the scale doesn't move, eating a low inflammation diet still keeps the inches falling off even if the numbers on the scale don't move. I'm pretty sure that is what people are seeing, which is what is important, but I of course want the numbers on the scale to move too, I'm only human. The other thing that I decided to do is become a MAB coach. I really love it and hope as my weight loss continues that I will get even more people inspired to join me on this journey. So that pretty much brings you up to speed.


So back to today and what is different about it. Two weeks ago I was standing in the grocery isle waiting to cash out and glanced over at a Womans World Magazine. The lady had lost 170 lbs and after around 60 lbs lost she hit a plateau and the weight wasn't coming off. Sounded like me, so intrigued I picked it up to browse through it. It said her secret weapon was eliminating dairy products and that the rest of her weight just fell off of her. Briefly it crossed my mind that maybe this was something I could try and then reminded myself what an addiction I have to cheese and cheese and oh yeah more cheese! I tossed the idea out of my mind because well giving up dairy would just be nuts! So I went home and started really noticing my cheese/dairy intake. It was a lot, even more then MAB recommends. Then I started googling things about dairy, how those products affect our blood sugar, how Milk is used a growth product in our small children. How no other species drinks the milk of another. The more I dug into the research the more I learned how obsessed we all are with cheese and milk! How we are deceived into thinking if we don't drink milk that we will all end up with osteoporosis. I also learned that it can affect your thyroid, which I have a problem with and the list goes on and on. So it took me a little over a week to prepare myself to give up cheese. I had already given up milk back in September when I started MAB, but cheese, well that is a doozy. I eat cheese on hot dogs and burgers. I make MAB pizza with cheese, I eat cheese sticks, cottage cheese, ice cream, whipped cream, even chocolate has dairy in them! Creams, yogurts, sour cream, cream cheese, oh my cheese. I eat cheese all darn day! Even my ranch dressing has dairy in it. Time for a change.


So at the end of September makes my 1 years since I started MAB, so while following the MAB rules, I am going to deduct cheese and other forms of dairy from my diet. I am also going to attempt to really keep things organic and as natural as possible. I am not opposed to Soy products but I want them to be real, not manufactured. I also am going to attempt to reduce my amount of splenda/sugar free products and stick to the basics of fruit, veggies and lean meats and less fake stuff.


Also with the help of my Vegan friend Michelle, she has really been helping me understand more about some of the replacement products that I can use, like Goats Milk, Almond and coconut milk, soy etc. I did find some substitutes in the local grocery store like Tofutti products and coconut milk ice creams etc. Finding things that are dairy free and low in sugar is difficult, but I found a few. I will be heading to whole foods and Trader Joes this weekend to see what they offer too. Plus she lent me her P90X program. Its time to get serious and kick it up. I have come too far to turn back now!


So today is Day One with no dairy. I am surviving. I am giving myself a challenge to try this for a full 90 days. Will I miss Pizza, yogurt, chocolate and ice cream? Yes of course. I love dairy and no I am not allergic. But for the possible health benefits its worth a shot. Will I eat Pizza again? Of course! Grilled cheese is not out of my life forever, but for right now its on hold while I figure out if this is something that will benefit my life. Who knows what path it will take me down.


So wish me luck!!




Tiff

A new month

Well the month of January went by fast! I hope everyone that made goals for the New Year is sticking to them! Motivation is key and its where I have failed in the past. I started my Biggest Loser weigh in New Years Day and had put on some Christmas lbs. As of this morning I weighed in 17 lbs less, so that is my total for the month of January and I am pretty happy with that! I am 1 lb away from losing 40 lbs!

I also made a goal that when I hit 50 lbs lost I would become a Mend-a-body Wellness Coach. I signed up already and have coach training tomorrow night. I'm looking forward to the challenge and helping others reach their weight loss goals. I hope I can be an inspiration to others.

On top of all that my pants I was so proud of a few weeks ago are now too big. So I know that with the pounds lost there have also been many inches lost as well and that I love.

This past weekend I attended the MAB rejuvination Conference in Auburn with the ladies from Team Lennox and more. What a great day with an awesome group of people. Thanks to everyone that put it on and the food was amazing! It was a really great and I even learned a few things ;)

Best wishes to all of you on your journey! Keep at it and as coach Julie says, Never ever ever give up! 

Plateaus and temptations

I very much dislike that word, but that is currently what seems to be happening for me. I need to make some changes. I need to incorporate more exercise, this I know. This time of year just makes me so lazy! It's cold, no actually its freezing, the outside is ugly and to be honest I just feel like doing nothing in this weather. Excuses excuses, that's all they are, but true at the same time.

I'm still doing well with my food. Lots of fiber, low carb choices, but I have been struggling with some temptations this past week. Nothing crazy or any type of binge eating going on, but a small cookie here, a few cheez-its there, an extra cheese stick here, a bite or two of potatoes at dinner, that type of stuff, it all adds up after awhile. I haven't been measuring my portions and I know I should be. Sometimes its just so hard and sometimes I just don't care!  But I do care and I want to see that damn scale number go down! I know, here I go with that stupid scale. I try not to let it define my success, but its so easy to do. Why do I keep sabotaging myself? Why can't I just get it together!? Its so incredibly frustrating at times. Its times like this in the past that I would just throw in the towel and be done with this all and go back to eating crap. I'm not going to do that. This will not get the best of me, I won't let it!

So I need to get out of this funk I'm in and get back to what my goals are. My pants are still big, my rings are spinning off my fingers, but it would really be nice to see some other changes. For pete sake, I eat so lean and so much fiber, I should be a rail! Why does weight loss have to be so darn difficult at times? Where is that darn magic pill? It is me and only me standing in my way.

259

That was my new number yesterday AND today!! It's a step in the right direction and a number I haven't seen in many many many years. I have had a great eating week and have done very well with my water. I'm very happy about that. I give all the credit to Mio, it has helped me so much! If you haven't tried it, you must. So much better then Crystal Light and you can add as much as you want or as little as you want. There are many different flavors as well. Kind of costly but I bought a 3 pack at Sams Club last week for 10.00 and it was very worth it.

Today I made one of my favorite recipes which is German Red Cabbage. It is sooooo good! I make it and eat it all week long. It is addicting and so good for you.

1 head of Red Cabbage

1/2 cup - 1 cup of Apple Cider Vinegar

3 tablespoons of Splenda Brown Sugar

1 package of Center Cut Bacon or Turkey Bacon

1 large Onion

Cut bacon in small chunks along with an onion and saute in pan until bacon is no longer soft but starting to get crunchy and onions are caramelized. While that is cooking, chop cabbage into small square chunks. Add it to the bacon mix along with salt, pepper, garlic powder brown sugar and vinegar. Cook until cabbage is tender but not mushy stirring frequently. I usually cook it with a lid on for about 10 minutes then take the lid off and cook it the rest of the time without it, if you leave it on the whole time it gets too juicy.  I eat this hot or cold. Its delicious! Once in a while I will make it with a green cabbage and it just isn't the same. Green cabbage gets very mushy. 

So as of today we are 15 days into the new year. I am proud of the changes I am making and the weight loss I have seen so far. I am on my way to my summer goals. It saddens me that so many people that vowed to lose weight for the new year  have already gone back to their old eating habits or have thrown in the towel. This is a long commitment and I am certain I will reach my goals. I am so thankful for my ladies at Mend-a-body Solutions. Everyday I get on the boards and have support, friendship, new recipes and new goals thanks to them. I could not do this without them....but you have to WANT to do it and not just SAY you want to do it. 

Good night all and here is to a brand new week to continue reaching for the stars! 

Tiff

I must confess....

For those of you that have been following me and have read my scale struggles and my vow to stay off of it until Monday....well I caved! I did good for 3 days though. I didn't get on it one time! I was quite proud and feeling "skinny" . I just knew when I got on it that the magic number 59 would be there! Well it was not, instead I was up 5 pounds and pissed. I have been so so good for the last several days. Drinking my water, eating the right foods. I only had one day this week that I was struggling. After that I regretted 2 things. I regretted getting on it and then I wondered if by NOT getting on it was the cause for the gain. But what I did after made me proud. I went and ate a good breakfast, sucked down my water and continued on being good and making the right choices. In the past I would have said screw it and just ate what I wanted. Not this time. Instead it made me more determined.  I even went out and shoveled and anyone who knows me knows I detest shoveling! But I wanted to burn some calories and it needed to be done anyway. This morning I realized WHY I was up 5 lbs and without elaborating I will just say its a womanly thing. This morning I was back down that 5 and feeling lighter then ever. Although I was back on the scale this morning, I decided it was ruling my life and getting on once a day or maybe every other day is ok, but not all day, several times a day etc. Just crazy. Morning weigh in only. And if it doesn't say what I like it will not wreck my day.

This afternoon,  Ronan and I hit up Marshalls and for the first time since losing weight, I actually bought myself something. I started this journey in a 26/28 pants and a 3x sometimes 4x shirt. My clothes have not been fitting for quite sometime but I told myself not until I lost a significant amount of weight would I part with them or buy anything. This last week I couldn't even walk without them falling down and stepping all over them plus my shirts are falling off of my shoulders and Ronan comes over and says "Mom, your boobs are hanging out", even though they weren't lol. I thought maybe I was a 22 since my "Christmas goal" jeans that I just got from my mom were a 24 and they are a little loose suddenly. I grabbed a pair of "22" jeans and went to try them on. They fit PERFECT! Plus even better they were from Lane Bryant and normally cost 90.00 and at Marshalls were only 20.00! Love a good deal! I was shocked when I looked down and saw they were a size 18/20! I have not been that size since I met Ron 11 years ago!! What a moment for me. I was beyond thrilled. I know this journey will continue for sometime, but to just see those size pants on me made me so proud and I just know my Pepere is smiling from the Heavens. He got me started on this journey and I will not give up! I will get there. There will be good days and there will be bad days but I am worth putting in all the effort that I can. So maybe those pants ran big, maybe they didn't but I don't really care. As of today I own a pair of 18/20 pants!

I miss my scale! :(

Day 2 of not stepping on the scale. This is not easy for a scale addict like myself. It has crossed my mind several times a day and especially in the morning. I want to see those magic numbers I have been waiting on! But I have not, and I'm proud of myself. It's made me pay attention more to my clothes. They are looser on me and I think my 24' s are officially too big. I started this journey at a 28 and I can no longer wear them at all. Now my 24's suddenly this week are too big. My Christmas goal pants are 22's and I was hiking them up all day the other day. So I have to assume that even though the scale hasn't budged, the inches on me have and I'm just fine with that!

So after my not so great day on Monday, the last 2 days have been great. Back on track, no more bad snacks, portion sizes are under control and I have really upped my water intake. I can always tell when I have to get up more then once at night that I did good with my water.

I think I might just hit up the goodwill this weekend for some new pants. I don't want to buy anything expensive as I don't plan on staying this size for long!

Cottage cheese is calling my name, must go!

Just one of those days ...

Not sure why I am having such a hard time focusing today!  It's so easy to get distracted, a bite here a bite there, they all add up! I did so well for breakfast and snack, but at lunch I picked too much. The voice in my head told me not too, but I did anyway. Even though all the things I was snacking on were healthy choices, I still need to watch my portion sizes. I have struggled with portion control my whole life. I have often wondered if that has been most of my problem, not just the foods I eat. I love food, big plates of food and 2nds and 3rds were normal growing up. I'm still not used to just being satisfied when I always ate until I was full and needed to unbutton my pants. That will take years to retrain my body I suppose, but I will do it!

I have a new recipe tonight I am trying out. Stuffed cabbage made with quinoa instead of the ultra starchy rice.  I bought the organic quinoa and it had half of the carbs than the regular one. I made the rice version for the boys. I'm slowly and secretly slipping things in the MAB way, but quinoa is new to me so I want to test it out first.

I also started my scale challenge today. I got on it and then put it away until next week. It may just kill me but I will do it!  I really hope to see a significant loss next week. I want to see the 250's that I haven't seen in about 10 years. When I got pregnant with my daughter I weighed 217, after delivery I weighed 245. I never saw that number again, I only gained from there. Oddly enough I weighed 275 when I got pregnant with Ronan and gained 8 lbs through my whole pregnancy. After delivery I dropped down to 262, I had lost weight during my pregnancy and my boy was 2 lbs bigger than his sister! I am still to this day stumped by that! I am so close to the 250's I can taste it!  It's a short term goal that I plan to meet next week. I will keep you posted!

Off to drink my water!

Tiff

I'm addicted to the scale

So I will fess up about the scale. I love it and hate it all at the same time. This is my recommendation....stay off of it. Do I follow that advice?? Heck no! But I should. I hate that darn thing, especially on days when my number goes up. Like today. Mend-a-body recommends getting on it once a week, but do I listen?...nope. I feel like I just HAVE to get on it every morning, oh and in the afternoon and after I pee, before bed and several other times in between. I try to see how much my clothes weigh so I get on naked then fully dressed (FYI usually it's a 2 lb difference!). I tell you its an obsession!! Stupid thing I should just throw it out, but like any other addiction I just can't. But as I am now a "blogger" I am going to set myself a goal this week. Monday morning I will get on the scale, weigh in and not get on again until next Monday. OMG, its like crack I don't know how I will do it, just saying that makes me anxious!! But it may be very rewarding next week to see a good loss? Maybe??? Cause right now weighing in daily or several times a day shows me all over the place and its just not working for me. I also try to hear Coach Julie in my head. When she first started Mend-a-body (From here on it will be referred to as MAB) she hardly saw any weight loss, the scale was not budging, but even though it wasn't moving, her clothes were getting bigger and bigger and she was shrinking ( oh and she is a  size 4 now from I believe an 18) So I try to keep that in mind when I don't see a loss on the scale. Most of my pants are too big for me now even though I'm only down 35 lbs. And they are especially big in the waist and legs. I just got pants for Christmas that I picked as some "goal" jeans on Black Friday. They were tight and gave me a bigger muffin top then I already have due to squeezing in them. I wore them yesterday and spent most of the day hiking them up. So even though that number on the scale hasn't moved very much, I know that I am still losing. But actually SEEING that number validates for me that I'm succeeding and I know it shouldn't. The way I feel should do that and I am working on it.

Now lets talk food. Yesterday I ate beans. Beans are not recommended in the weight loss portion on MAB, once in awhile is ok though, so we had friends over and I made chili, corn bread and baked potatoes. Oh the yumminess of carbs! Potatoes with butter, chives and sour cream on top, one of my favorites. Corn bread dripping with butter and I also made it with a can of corn which makes it nice and moist.  I had a small bowl with beans and a bite of cornbread, but I really WANTED the entire piece and then some along with that potato. It was not worth it to me to do that though, so I didn't. Our guests brought a lovely cake with them. I felt bad, she really wanted me to eat a piece, she knows I am trying to take control of my weight and eating that cake it not going to get me to my goals, which is exactly what I told her. I got in return "your not even going to try my home made frosting?" ....sigh.... It's a sticky situation. I stuck my pinky in the frosting and said "mmmm good", which it was, but not good enough to throw my whole day out the window. If you are reading this, sorry...it was great, but just not where my head is at right now. Which brings me to another thought. I wonder sometimes if well meaning friends sabotage us without really trying to do so. I know she wasn't trying to make me fail, but at the same time I felt like it was a test of some sort. Well I think I passed and I feel pretty darn good about it! So I ate a few beans, had a bite of cornbread and lick of frosting. Not the end of the world. While everyone else was eating potatoes I was eating brussel sprouts cooked in sugar free syrup and they were quite good and my kid actually asked me if he could have some as well! He gobbled them down and I almost fell of the chair when he proclaimed "Mom, brussel sprouts are my favorite!"

So right now I'm slacking, I should be making myself an egg white omelet as I have been up for awhile and should have eaten by now, but instead I'm typing away and playing on my other addiction.. Pinterest! Ugh, can't get enough of that other time suck! Today I looked up weight loss and saw a gazillion different recipes that I now want to try! Follow me here http://pinterest.com/photogirl77/ . Such an inspiring website and so much more productive then spying on others on Facebook (another addiction lol)

Even though I haven't made my breakfast yet, I did however make my lunch. And here it is and the recipe to share. So yummy!!

Creamy Cucumber Dill Salad

This a creamy cucumber dill salad with ham. Chop up one large cucumber, a couple of scallions and a ham steak. Add in a teaspoon of dill weed, a tablespoon of light mayo, a teaspoon of light ranch dressing, a little salt, pepper and garlic powder to taste and that's it. I put it on a piece of low fat cheese and then added it to half a sheet of Lavash bread. Very low in carb, high in fiber. Low fat, low carb and delicious! Who says dieting is boring!!?? Not me! Enjoy

Have a great day and thanks for reading!

Tiff

Making good choices...

So this is the problem with all of my "diets".  I make an honest attempt to make good choices, but if anyone has a spouse that's thin and a child in the house then you know there is going to be food in the house that is tempting. I can buy 100.00 worth of healthy groceries, all things that I can eat and open a cabinet and see chips, cookies, cupcakes and more and want them. I have come to understand that it is part of life and is going to be a part of mine for a long time. I have really really struggled with this over the years and felt that it just wasn't fair and had a pity party for myself. Why do I have to be fat and have to eat diet food while they get to eat whatever they want? When I was my single self there was only food in my house that I could eat. But it's not fair for Ron and Ronan to not enjoy their sweets and treats too because I'm trying to lose weight. I turned to weight watchers so many times because of this. I wanted to eat "normal". In other words I wanted my junk too, but I had to be accountable for it, which I never was because I never kept track of my points. Did you know a piece of cake is 12 points? I could easily eat 2 slices and that would have been more then half of my allotted daily points. Did I need the cake? No. Did I want the cake? Yes and I would choose to eat it. Now I look in the cabinet, see the cupcakes up on the top shelf and decide it is not worth it.  Do I still want it? Yes I do. So breakfast this morning the boy wanted french toast, but he also requested a fruit smoothy, which made me very happy! So I made the french toast. I LOVE french toast. I wanted some and the dripping butter on top and syrup (sugar free though) made me take 1 bite, maybe 2 ;-) But then I handed it over and said to myself that I was ok without. I did not need it. My body needs fruits, veggies, fiber and eggs. So I made myself eggbeater scrambled eggs, a side of cottage cheese (which I love thanks to Mend-a-body) and small side of grapes with a big glass of water. Water is a whole other subject for me!

On any given day before Mend-a-Body, I would wake up and tip the 2 liter of Coke Zero first thing in the morning. I love diet soda. I still do. I don't have a coffee addiction. I don't like hot drinks. But I love me some soda!  I have not completely given up my diet soda. Instead of choosing that piece of cake as a treat, I like to choose some diet soda. I drink water 90 percent of the time, but on occasion I do let myself have a little treat. It's been a hard transition for me and I miss it... A LOT. But I will live.  Anyone who knows me knows I hate water. Its boring, its tasteless, its not anything like soda! But it is sooooo much better for me, my body needs it, my kidneys need it, I need it to help me lose weight. So I do add some crystal light in on occasion, but I prefer Mio, I can control how much I add, it doesn't have that nasty fake taste and I also like to drink my water with a straw. For some reason it goes down easier and faster. It's the little things I suppose! lol Please don't go off on me about artificial sweeteners blah blah. I know I know, but guess what? Everything we seem to ingest or enjoy is going to kill us, so I give up!!

Not sure how many of you out there prepare your meals in advance or at least for the next day, but that works for me. We are having friends over for dinner tonight and we are having Chili, cornbread, baked potatoes and salad. Almost all things NOT MAB approved. But I will make do. I will pick out "most" of the beans for me, a few of them are not the end of the world and it will be a small serving,  I will skip the potatoes and cornbread, which are my FAVORITE by the way and I will eat salad and drink plenty of water due to the salt in the chili. Eeeks I am also making brownies for dessert. These things will not help me reach my goals so I will avoid them. Will I avoid them the rest of my life? Probably not, I will have them in moderation one day, but for now I have a 40 lb goal to reach and I can live without those food.

So for lunch I am having a Turkey Burger with a slice of cheese on top, with a side of sauteed mushrooms and onions and my favorite side dish, Brussel Sprouts sliced in half, baked with a little salt and sugar free maple syrup for 40 minutes. Did I mention I detested Brussel sprouts before??? Yup I did, would not touch them with a 10 foot pole. Now I can't get enough of them!!

Before I wrap it up, I just looked over at Ronan's breakfast, he drank all his smoothie, ate all his yogurt, picked at the french toast and asked for 2nds on the smoothie. I would prefer him to eat healthy, but I don't push it as he is a picky eater as is. Without even trying,  my healthy habits are rubbing off and that makes me happy.

Enjoy your day everyone!!

294

 Me the week before Mend-a-body


The name of this post is 294 because that is the number I saw on the scale in September of 2011 and a number I will never see again! Here I am, my very first weight loss blog. Not sure if anyone will actually be interested in reading it, but for me I can always look back and follow my journey all over again and stay accountable for the choices I make, which are not always good.

Here is a little background. I am 34 years old and I have been trying to lose weight my whole life. I have always been the chunky kid, the plus size teen and now the over weight adult. I have done a lot of diets, some have been successful, some have not and some I just gave up after a while because I got tired of always dieting. Every time I would lose, gain, lose, gain and so on. Each time putting on more and more weight. I did birth a couple of children that contributed to this as well.

Last September my beloved Pepere (Grandfather) died after a sudden 2 week illness and it rocked my world. I don't have a large family, I don't have siblings, I don't have a lot of close friends, but for 34 years I have had this man in my life that has been more of a father to me then anything else. I was extremely close to him and for him to be just gone in 2 weeks just broke me in half.  But at the same time I felt....inspired. He had lost 115 lbs over the last couple of years and kept it off. This man was constantly counting calories and fat and only on holidays would he let himself cheat. If at 79 years old he could do it, so could I! He would always ask me, "how is the diet going?" He knew I struggled and he wanted me to succeed.  When he died I made the decision to take control of my weight.  For me and for him!

So that is what I did. I have been skeptical of a lot of diets, programs, whatever you want to call them because I have done them all. Weight Watchers, Tops, Jenny Craig, low fat, low carb, no taste...on and on. Yeah they all worked for a little bit, but could I eat like that the rest of my life?  Some yes, some no. In 1998 I found a low carb diet called Somersizing by Suzanne Somers. I lived alone at the time as a single 21 year old. It was the time of my life. I Only had me to worry about and I'm so glad I had those years to just get to know me. I joined the gym, I started this program and I lost 70 lbs over a year and half. It was however very restrictive and expensive to do. Then I started dating someone in 2000, got pregnant in 2001 and 2005 and it's been all down hill since then. Eating that way was just not easy with a family or on the budget. I gained most of my weight back and when my newborn baby was diagnosed with a terminal illness and passed away at 11 months old I just gave up and didn't really care. Fast forward to September 2011. There I was 294 pounds! I was sad, miserable and just feeling awful about myself. I have been over weight all of my adult life. As I approach 35 I know that I don't want to be this way anymore.

For the last year I had been hearing about this weight loss program called Mend-a-body Solutions. I was again a skeptic. Another diet, another "program", too much money, not interested. I dismissed it and said "Eh I will go back to Weight Watchers". It was an excuse to me to be able to what I wanted, but had to keep track of points. I did keep track...for a couple of weeks. Then I stopped and just started guessing how many points I had. Then I stopped looking them up completely and I had no clue how many I was actually using. The whole point of WW is to track your points!! I couldn't even do that!  It worked for me in 2010 for 6 months, then I just fell off and the 30 lbs I lost just crept back on. In May of 2011 I decided to rejoin WW since they had revamped their points system. I went to one meeting and tracked for one week and was done and quit. Last summer I said screw it and ate what I want and gained all the weight back and then some and was almost at 300 lbs. I am 5 foot 9, but still, that number was not good. Then I thought of Mendabody again when I saw my friend Christine's picture on her facebook page. I couldn't believe how thin she was! I wanted that to be me.

When I made the promise to my grandfather in the Heavens that I would lose the weight,  I joined Mend-a-body Solutions. September 19th I started my journey. I started a  Biggest Loser Competition for 6 weeks and focused on getting healthy. Oh and I won, by default, but still, I had lost 20 lbs that first 6 weeks on the program. The first week was very hard. I was detoxing from sugar, carbs and caffeine. I was grumpy, irritable and wasn't pleasant to be around at all.  But the support I had from the other members of Mend-a-body was amazing and kept me going. My coach would listen to me piss and moan about all the things I couldn't have and supported me when I felt frustrated as well as my back up coach Julie.

I am not perfect I do not always follow it to a tee, but 3 months later I have lost 35 lbs, I feel better and I know that I eat better. My body actually craves fiber rich vegetables and I actually really enjoy eating good food. I don't feel deprived. I still have carbs, but good carbs. I still have sweets but low sugar sweets. I still have a cheat here and there, but I get back on track. Over the holidays I did take a week off and just kind of ate whatever. I felt like crap, but I told myself I would get right back on track. I gained 4 lbs from Christmas to New Years. I ate soda, chips, dips and crap. With the New Year I feel rejuvenated and more focused.  I have started exercising this week. I haven't had a diet soda all week and I have lost those 4 lbs I gained. I feel good that for the first time I was able to get right back on the wagon and continue on and not say screw it like I always have in the past. All my life I start things and never finish them! Not this time. It is easier when you enjoy eating good food and losing weight doesn't quite feel like so much work. It was worth every penny that I paid.

My goal is to reach 170 lbs. Then from there I will see how I feel and if I want to continue to lose more. But for now that is where I am at. I have a long way to go and right now I am making smaller more achievable goals. My goal from September was to lose 35 lbs by Christmas. I did that the week of Christmas! Now my goal is to lose another 40 lbs by the middle of May. I know I can do it! I have the support of my friends, my Mend-a-body peers, the coaches and my family. Oh and I found that I really do love to cook and come up with lots of MAB menus! It's really fun actually.

This blog isn't about Mend-a-body or what you should eat or shouldn't eat, but it is about what works for me. There will be days that I slip up I'm sure, but this is about reaching a goal and losing half of myself. The half I don't like!

I will be sharing recipes on here, pictures of what I am eating and journaling this adventure. I hope you will all follow along. I hope I will inspire others to do the same. If you would like more information on Mend-a-body Solutions, feel free to go to their website or contact me and I can send you information to contact one of the many Mend-a-body Coaches.

Tiff

Here I am today a work in progress!